For the past months I have strangely felt that I have two selves. One which I suspected was dominated by my right brain, and kicks in whenever I have at least two consecutive days of vacation. It would have me either writing, drawing, or painting; as I would tend to feel sensitive to the energy and connections that surround me and it overwhelms me not to express them in some form. On these days, I would fill my journal with pages of scribbles, poems and words or just sit down with my cup of tea and wonder in amazement how wonderful the world is or how I finally get things that have been eluding me before. In these days, I feel such peacefulness and calm that if I had the third day off, I'd spend it sitting near the river or harbor just watching boats, planes and people pass by and everything feels as they should be.
But then all these would be lost after I go back to work, where work is nowhere near paints and pens. That's when my second self would kick in. I could feel myself turning into a highly logical and analytic machine, being capable of working out formulas, numbers, and discussing theories for the whole day or till my computer crashes from the many statistical and analytical softwares I got opened at the same time. And I would feel segmented and disconnected from the state that I was.This had been in my thoughts for the past weeks as I alternated between days of vacation and work since last June. It felt like there was a switch button that turns it on and off to the point that the scientific part of me have began thinking of ways in which I could experiment in prolonging my right brained state of being - the one who writes, draws, paints and feels one with the world.
I thought it was a crazy idea. One which would just go away, like a dream, after I've spent all of my vacation leaves and would go back to working all week. So imagine my surprise (and delight) when I saw this video. I couldn't believe the serendipity of finding this one given what my thoughts were. To realize that it wasn't a crazy thought after all. That there is such a thing as two "selves" (the more un-crazy term being "two halves of the brain") in one. That there is a scientific explanation for the two totally different states of mind I was experiencing. And that there is such a thing as us having the choice to be in one - if we wanted to.
It is amazing. It is life changing. It is worth the 18 minutes of watching.
If the video doesn't work, you can also go to this site: http://blog.ted.com/2008/03/jill_bolte_tayl.php
2 comments:
I dont truly know what you talking about right here. This cant be the only way to think about this can it? It appears like you understand a lot, so why not explore it more? Make it more accessible to everyone else who might not agree with you? Youd get a lot more individuals behind this should you just stopped making common statements.
Thanks for the comment. Yes, you're right, it's not the only way to think about it. There are lots of other ways. This one is just how I had related to the video at that time. I guess to put it simply, I struggle between trying to be a painter/illustrator (which I'd like to be someday) and being an engineer/researcher, which I am by profession. The two requires two different state of minds. With painting, I feel the energies of the things around me, have the sense of wonder etc., with my scientific work, I feel my individuality and loose that connectedness. And I wonder how with these two entirely different states within me, could I continue to be in balance? It feels like one works against the other, if I spend too much time on one, it's a struggle to get back to the other. Anyway, these are just my thoughts as I continue to understand myself. In no way do i consider it as something other people should agree. people after all have different experiences in life. most of it unique. thanks again for your comment.
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