Robert Bateman

A friend gave me this print of Robert Bateman's work. I was ecstatic. Ever since I came here to Canada, I see his works in shops, galleries, offices and bookstores. And although his style of realistic painting isn't exactly my preference, his works never fail to evoke in me an appreciation of nature. He depicts nature and animals in their most elegant selves. The tone of his paintings too is sober and contemplative, like the reeds at the rivebank with just a small hint of a bird somewhere just waking up for their morning feed. There is a calmness in it that is amazing. In his website, he is qouted:

" I can't concieve of anything being more varied and rich and handsome than the planet Earth. And it's crowning beauty is the natural world. I want to soak it up, to understand it as well as I can, and to absorb it...and then I'd like to put it together and express it in my painting. This is the way I want to dedicate my life." ---- Robert Bateman

One thing that I could feel changing in me as I continue to live here in Canada is my growing admiration and near reverence to nature. I could feel (and possibly absorb) it from people I see every day, in the images that surround me and the beauty of nature that is consciously preserved within the urbanity that surrounds it. I can't forget the day when I walked towards a nice hotel entrance in the heart of downtown Victoria and saw at it's side wall, in a smalll patch of pond with a small flowing fountain on top of it, hundreds of multi-colored ducks and drakes were filling it to the brim. I have never seen such beautifully colored birds in such numbers in a small area, right in the middle of a city before! (Back home, people would most likely have roasted them for dinner). The hotel doorman gave me an understanding smile while I gaped and stared at the lumps of ducks in front of me. I associate cities with trash, traffic, lots of dust and if there are creatures I see passing by, it would be rats. But apparently, not here. Here, it seems man and nature can co-exist...at least it feels that way. The ducks don't get cooked.
At near wintertime, the groceries fill up their stands with bird seeds and bird food and I wondered why that was, it was later that I realized that a lot of people had birdfeeders in there backyards and that they are helping the birds survive the winter (when seeds are sparse). Quite a thoughtful act. I felt this is the way that things should be. Man being just one of all other creatures and not living at the expense of the rest of the earth's inhabitants.

Neil Gaiman

I first heard of Neil Gaiman, when I was attending a three day workshop on cartooning more than ten years ago. Signing in for the cartooning workshop was one of those spur of the moment decisions I made when the summer days got really hot and working on things that had the words "nanometers" and "microseconds" in it got pretty boring. So I thought, "Why not do something totally refreshing and non-scientific (please!), like enroll in a cartooning workshop perhaps?" I don't exactly remember why I chose cartooning of all topics but I suspect it had more to do with the venue than anything else. The venue was at this pretty elusive museum/library, an old structure located in the middle of a small oasis of a park, which was in turn sitting in the middle of very tall, modern glassy buildings. The workshop was held in the dome shaped attic of that building, with glass windows surrounding it offering a 360 view of the park area. Pretty old and unique! But I am digressing. It turned out that our teacher in that class, was a very avid fan of Neil Gaiman (he says his name with a reverence akin to ancient priests praying to their gods) and he highly recommended Neil's graphic novel - The Sandman series. And so that was when I started to read Neil Gaiman's works.

I wouldn't say that I liked him at first "read". His works struck me as pretty 'out of this world', not exactly the frame of mind I had back then. But I found his ideas pretty unique and interesting - with characters such as "Dream" or "Death" portrayed by a young punkish looking lady or a punkish looking man. He sort of grows on you after you read the variety of written mediums he had produced. I specially liked his children's books, short stories and novels like Stardust and the Graveyard book. They are quite simple, fairytale like, almost feels like they were written for children/teens but I find that his stories tend to stretch my imagination. He sees and thinks of things quite differently and his perspective is contagious. With him, I feel like I am "given permission" to think of wierd things, or things that are totally out of this world or to truly explore what the answers might be if I ask myself, "What if?"

Most specially I liked him as a person. In a way I think of him as one of my role models. He's pretty down to earth, has a great sense of humor and a wonderful imagination. His honesty and truthfulness with himself and with the people around him is inspiring and quite endearing. With him, anything ordinary can become extraordinary. He has the calmness that could only have come from having the wisdom gained with age and experience, self knowledge, humility, and an openness or reverence to almost everything around him. He is very supportive of budding writers in a lot of countries too, including the Philippines which he is due to go back for another visit in a month or so. To top all that, he is such a great storyteller! I haven't seen any other famous author who reads his writings pretty darn well like he does. Here are videos of him reading all the chapters of his Graveyard Book. Listening to him, made me feel like a child again - back to when I was sitting on my father's lap, watching his face and listening to his voice, getting engrossed with the story and being impatient in knowing what happens next. I honestly think I've improved as a reader to Julia on her books after I've watched Neil read. I would highly recommend listening to his read on the first chapter (at least) till he gets to the part where he reads the lines coming from the different characters. He also has an online journal which I was quite happy to stumble upon last month. He updates it almost daily, which given his busy schedule, speaks a lot about himself. He is currently concerned with his cat, Zoe, who has a throat tumor and is dying (or may be put to sleep). Sometimes it feels quite strange to be this close to knowing the daily/weekly comings and goings of someone you admire from afar. That's how I feel when I read his journal. I consider myself lucky to be living in this age of blogs and twits and having someone like Neil Gaiman to inspire me in my night time web reads.

Swing

A chid's abandon. I would never have thought of riding

a swing this way..then again, I am no longer a child. That door

to childhood had closed on me (however I'm still trying to open it with a crank bar).

I've come to appreciate childhood more now that I am no

longer in it. Quite ironinc. I guess it is the same for most things.

We don't get to really appreciate things as much as when it is

out of our hands. But this could be changed as well.

Restraint

Sometimes when things are overwhelming,

bandages can keep you from spilling all over the floor.

I thoroughly enjoyed making this one.

Spores

Sometime every year, in the darkness of the night, thousands of corals release their spores to the waters that surround them. These round and tiny specks of white, fill the water like dust fills the air after cars run through dry roads during the summer. The spores, tiny lifeforms in themselves, get carried away by the waves, swaying, floating and landing somewhere where hopefully they will have a stable enough surface to settle, clean enough waters to flourish and survive the other harsh elements of the sea. It seems such a natural phenomenon, this state of riding with the tide and going where the currents flow. It is much like the way trees drop their fruits when they are ripe enough and let their seeds get scattered by the animals that feed on them or the flower that dries out and  sprinkles its' seeds in the wind. Maybe there is a lesson here for me. Maybe part of our nature is to do the same, to let go of things, not hang on to them forever and let the currents take them to where they would need to go. Such a release would make us ready to take on other things, to prepare for the next year that comes or be ready for a new life, a new start. Maybe by releasing, we enable a part of us to grow somewhere else and fulfill the cycle of life.

2010

I use to be fond of making new year's resolutions when I was young, but later in life I realized that although the intention of it is good, it's form doesn't quite suit what my way of thinking was. I found it to be a bit too task oriented, "listy" and in some ways short-sighted. But I still liked seeing the new year as a fresh start, a clean slate to reflect on the past, savor the present and try to gleen the future. I do find myself tending to think of it in terms of concepts more than tasks. This year, one of the things I felt I wanted to focus on is on the theme of finding "me" - my voice, my essence, my reason, my meaning. It sounds elementary and dounting at the same time. Elementary because it is the sort of thing that one would think should have been answered in the teenage years. On the other hand, I know that even the great people who lived in history were still learning about themselves up to their deathbeds. Every day, we evolve and that evolution keeps us in constant flux that if we let it go unnoticed for quite some time, it could wheel us out of our axis. And that could be confusing. Learning about ourselves is to my opinion, the easier part. Accepting what we learn of ourselves, is the harder one.

As I pondered on this, I am reminded of my conversation with my best friend weeks ago. I had mentioned to her how I didn't like putting in too many words in my blog, because if I did, it would most likely end up having discussions of "deep stuff", that may be way too boring for some people. Because much of what I do really, is reflect on things. And I didn't like that about me, in a way. I wanted to see myself on the lively or simple side, on the cool side and not on the contemplative side that reminds me a lot of the nuns and hermits in the village I used to live in. And so aside from the occassional, long essays of reflections found in the earlier parts of this blog, I have limited my recent posts mostly to pictures and short sentences. However, this year, that is going to change. This year, it is going to be filled with more words from any of the ponderings that I do. And that I think is mainly because of my acceptance (finally!) of the fact that a large part of me thrives on reflection.

I remember two things that a teacher and a famous politician have mentioned back then that I felt were very good advice but I just didn't understand it at a personal level at that time, so I tucked it in my memory with the hope that as time passed by, I would get what they meant by it. One of those advice was - "Think big" and the second was - "If you feel lost at some point, remember your role models". It is on this second one that I am thinking now in relation to this blogpost. I haven't really understood how role models could be that important. And I realized later in life that the problem was my definition of what a role model was. I use to think they were similar to my idols, which, weren't in any way living the way I would have liked to live my life as. They just looked pretty good, sang pretty good, or were pretty popular. However later, as I began to admire people who weren't popular and began to explore how they lived, what they thought, what their life's essences were, their ideals..at some point, I found myself learning from them and sharing their essences and then began to realize, role models really are valuable. They had helped me through the lowest and most difficult valleys in my path. And so in this blog, I decided to have regular posts of people that I see as my role models, people I admire and who have influenced (are still influencing) me in small and profound ways.

These changes plus I think, I'd like to increase my blog posts to a minimum of twice a week (instead of once a week) or more. It is a wonder to me that it took me nearly three years to finally feel comfortable blogging (and exposing myself to "people" out there - even if noone barely reads this blog anyway but it still feels like it when I'm writing), to even be writing and posting this entry without being conscious of those "imaginary internet people" anymore.

It's going to be a great 2010. I can just feel it.

Masks

Oh I'm so proud!

Of the masks I wear

Everyday to deceive

The people who believe

That things are in everyway

All that they see

And think that everything

Is the way they think it should be

Oh what fun!

To pretend to smile

When smiling is not

What my heart desires

Oh what joy!

To cry and wail

When all I wanted to do

Was touch your hair

To look extremely hurt

And push food aside

While my heart was swollen

With extreme pride

Sometimes a mad face

Works best I find

When sitting in buses

With people close behind

Oh you'll never guess!

How good I've come to be

In wearing masks

That even deceives me.

Alien Stuffy

Julia wouldn't let go of the ugly doll she saw at the bookshop.

So I made her this below (a roundier and puffier version so she can use it as a pillow). It has become her favorite bedtime buddy and calls it "Alien". I'm silently congratulating myself for having attempted to make it in the first place. :)